Something I want to have.

Ever since I was young, I barely had a chance to get whatever I want, but it doesn't matter as there's not that much things I desire to have. Just so you know, I've never in my life became a materialist, not even once. Of course, I'll be grateful and feel indebted whenever I receive a present or something alike from someone. Not going to lie, but I'm one of those kids who always anticipate the coming of BER-months. It's not because of the cool breeze that rarely blows as we're living in a tropical country, but because it's the season of giving, and I'm thrilled that I'll be receiving something from my family. Gifts such as shoes, shirts, watches, gaming console, or even money. Regardless of what I receive, I always felt content and thankful, but there's something I honestly want to have — it's sympathy.

A word that we've all heard before. A word that's necessary for someone to be called human. A word constructed so beautifully it became so complicated. I lived my childhood with days full of deafening silence and nights filled with muffled noises, but I never felt envious of others' lives. So what if my friend has something that I don't? I'm sure he also doesn't have something that I own.

Living with that kind of mentality isn't bad unless you realize that you're the only one who thinks like that.

Something happened, and that turned my life into a downward spiral. From that day, I keep hearing this sentence all over again: "There's someone else out there who's having it harder than you do.". If I can receive a penny every time I hear that, then I wouldn't probably have to worry about my future, but yeah, things are not like that in real life.

The only thing I gained from having that being drilled into my ears is hating the word sympathy.

Those people are probably just trying to cheer me up and just want me to keep my chin up, even so, I don't think it's right.

My parents taught me to never look down on others, and just because I'm having a hard time, it doesn't mean I have to put myself in other's shoes to make me feel a little bit better. We're all fighting our own battles anyway. I used to think that I can't sympathize with anything in my surroundings and that I'm not in a position to be nosy or worry about others as my current life is already worrisome. Little did I know is that I was fooling myself. If sympathizing makes you look and feel for another's misfortune as self-comfort, then I'll just let myself live without it.

We have to realize that taking advantage of one's pains and scars doesn't make us more dominant than that person.